I suck at life. I’m not going to lie. Nor am i going to beat myself down and say how bad i am. But really, i suck at life. I’m not a head-turner by any means, nor am i school capable or athletic. i am built like a football player, yet i cant even catch a damn frisbee. i sometimes studder when i talk, and if i talk too fast, people think im on speed. if i talk too slow, via thinking while i am speaking, i get the impression people may think i, myself am slow. i had ADD, so again, school isnt a walk in the park. I’m insecure, yet prideful, angry yet happy, anxious, but content, all at the same time.
few good aspects. i write. i have a huge imagination, however due to the ADD, it becomes difficult for me to work on a piece for a long while, because i get distracted with another idea. i am muscular, bigger than a lot of people that i know. i think i am relatively handsome, when i dont look pissed off. i tend to be a loyal friend, praying always for the ones who need God.
see, by the world’s standards i am just “immature” or need some time to grow. Give me a break. i’ve tried that before, and it doesnt work. i’m not one of those self motivating freakazoids that will have their life changed because they spent a weekend in the mountains, nor am i driven enough to change my entire life, because of one sliver of time, when a teacher spoke into my life about how great i’m going to, one day become. no. see, God, the Almightly Father, the Absolute Author of the Universe, maker of both heaven and earth, and all the other wonders we can’t even fathom, as called me. Now, when i look at that, seeing a reject like me, and God has called me, wow, thats breathtaking in itself. All those other feelings are washed out. And i’m not going to lie, it does take some time for those feelings of self loathing to die, but when they are weakening, we can see, and feel the glory of God, as well as others can see it on us as well. halleluja to messed up people!
